This dress was meant to end up on your floor
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So here I am, sexting at work.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
