oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
