just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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