I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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