I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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