He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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