Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
