Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
