It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
