Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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