Duck Duck Cougar?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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