I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
