I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
