There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
