i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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