He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
