She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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