just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i drank out of a bidet.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize