I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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