i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
