ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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