Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
