well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
