just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
my god I love twenty year old dicks
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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