Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
