Kareoke will never be a sober sport
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
