fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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