I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
