My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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