You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
