my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
