i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
