Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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