You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
