just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
