i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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