a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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