READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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