Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize