she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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