the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
