You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
