omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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