Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
