Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize