Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
