I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
