OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
