He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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