Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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