sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
