hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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