Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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