that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize