home. puking in laundry basket.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You need a sexual gate keeper
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize