Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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